Couldn't fall asleep yesterday. Many things pop up in my mind. Hmmm. Things have been changing so fast. Too quick to adapt. Many questions pop out in my mind. No answers for many questions. Somehow, I feel that certain part of my life is in a mess. Real mess. Big fat mess. I really need to do something about it. I started to imagine lots of things. So many of what if, if i did, i wish types of questions. Somehow, I finally knew what I wanted. I drew a conclusion. But, I am not gonna say much things over here. I shall stick with my decision this time round. No more changes. Work is getting boring! I only left seven boxes of silktouch and I sold all around five plus. Imagine the whole shelf is empty. Argh. I wanna sell but nothing to sell. Hope they order more stocks this time round. Hmmm. Is not that I am a good sales person but just that they have limited amount of stocks. Lolz. Just pray hard my sales would be like last week, i will be happy enough. Telling lies is a sin. But I am telling lies everyday. I have been telling customers how good hoyu projects is but then the fact is they are not that good. Many people gave feedbacks that the colour fades off fast. And is really fast! After two to three washes. But, maybe depend on the person hair also. Loreal called me again. Ask me to work for them. I am stuck with Hoyu. Argh. I wanna quit but I cant. Breaching of contract needs to pay! But, they say she will book me for tuesday first. Hmmm. See how things go eh. Work is boreddddd.


I want better complexion!
Pimples leave me alone!
I want better skin!
I wanna be prettier!
Argh!

我不知道今天是我们的第几次吵架了，也许是因为太注重了细节，而忽略了

真实的感情，于是我们反反复复吵个不停。我不希望这样。我知道你也同

样。那是我不好，我太计较。想着我们的过去，相爱是多么不易，我们相互

喜欢，却都一相情愿地认为彼此只能够做好朋友，错过了六年，我仍麻木地

认为我们只能是朋友。于是我常常想，为什么那个幸运的人总不会是我？我

常常在想，如果我有一个像你一样的女朋友那就好了，有时尚触觉，可爱，

懂我的心，了解我。可是我没有，于是我一直在寻觅。我有过漂亮的女朋

友， 我有过深爱过我的女朋友，但都不及你，没用的，我们的感情太深，

都六年了，我不知道该怎么办。好久好久忘记了联系，只是偶尔接到你的电

话告诉我你的近况，我发现你变了许多，再也没有活泼的色彩在你的眼中

闪烁，再也看不到微笑的你了，我的心很痛，想不到一段感情会让人改变这

么多，那一天我一夜没睡好，在网吧上了很久的网，然后回家涂了很多的文

字。突然接到你的电话，告诉我你和你的男朋友分手了，也许过多的经历让

我变得很难相信那些不真实的东西，于是你生气了，我知道我内心的那种感

觉开始复苏了，有一种声音很清晰地告诉我，这次，你不能再错过了，那一

天我问你：做我女朋友好吗？你哭了。谁也没有想到，两个好朋友在经历了

六年之后，居然成为了恋人，现在想想，觉得那份爱发生在一个很恰当的时

候，两个人彼此都经历过一段让人心碎的感情，终于明白了爱一人不容易，

被一个人爱也不容易，彼此都知道会好好珍惜那样的一份感情，男女之间的

友情不是升华，就是沉淀，这句话没错。不知道为什么，最近我们老吵架。

为了一点点的事情，我坚信我们的感情基础比一般任何人都要坚固。我们

是不会分开的，是吗？我知道，有时候我太不明事理，忽略了你的感受，常

常让你一个人在家里胡思乱想。我的身边有太多异性，而你的身边也围着许

多男孩子，我不希望干涉你的另一部分的生活，毕竟每个人都有属于自己的

私人空间，这个道理我懂，不然我又会变成第二个专制的人，伤你心的人，

我想说，无论如何，我是爱你的，真的，对你的感情，无论是正在燃烧，

还是到达了极点，这并不重要，是吗？只要我爱你，无条件为你。有音

乐在我的耳边滑过，柔柔的，像是你在低声轻语，有个女孩子在轻声唱：　　　　





无条件为你，我会。每次听到那样的歌，我总会想到我们。想我们的未

来，尽管我们没有未来，想我们的现在，虽然我们常常吵闹，无条件为

你，我会努力为你付出。　

Movie day. Watch two movie in a row. Snakes on a plane and ghost game. Catch it with Lijie, Zhou xiong, Marvin, Jason, yong xiang and Jk. Snakes on a plane is not bad. But, as for ghost game. A big no no. Lolz. Din really like it. Lousy story plot. The ending was also abit meaningless. Haha. Zhou xiong went off after the movies. Cause, is his mummy birthday. Happy birthday Zhou xiong mummy! Haha. As if she will see this. Hmmm. I am crazy. You guys can choose not to bother about me. *Winks* Lalala. Ate Yoshinoya. Yummy. Love their miso soup. Yummy yummy delicious. Weets. Went wisma to look at fishes. Haha. My friends here I come. Luohan. Lolz. Home sweet home. My back is aching! Argh. For a long time it hasnt been aching but now it is back. I also don't know why too. Anyway, checkup is on friday. Just wish me good luck and I am gonna hear what the doctor says again. Seriously, I never hear any good news before. Worse is the word that will always come out from his mouth. Cant he say something better just to comfort me? Haha. Though, that is cheating. At least, I will feel better. Recieved a message from Aihui asking if we going back on teachers' day. I wanna go but gotta work. Boo. I miss ratata stupid jokes. Lolz. The way she play with us. Haha. I miss sceondary school life. Here I am missing everthing again ... ... I miss you, I miss everything. Smile ((:

Someone send me a song yesterday. He told me to hear and that is what he wanna say. Sigh. Sorry is all I could say. Some things are not within our control.

Everything been fine lately. Not much up and down. Third day of working. Hmmm. Sales still okay but really got to push. Seriously, their stuff is not that popular yet. Or rather I feel it that way. People always complained that their colour is rather down and packaging not that attractive as compared to Loreal and others brands. Silktouch is our main focus. Gotta sell more than 51 boxes within four days. Which means an average of 13 boxes per day. But, tommorrow I will be rotting over there. Cause, not much stocks left. left 13 boxes. However, 6 boxes is black. Not a popular colour. All the hot ones are sold out. And the stock will only arrive next friday. Argh. What can I sell? Nothing! Lolz. Anyway, four more boxes to go before I hit my this week target. Push sales. Haha. I think I am getting crazy already. Saw tv just now. Got a guy choosing the girl he wanna be with. One guy choosing four girls. But, then all the four girls know him and really love him. He gotta choose one between four. What a tough choice. Love is something so wierd. Hmmm. Dont you people think so? Okay, enough of all this. You know what? I have got very serious dark circles. Argh. Can someone please give me the best eye gel or eye mask to save my pathetic eyes? Lolz.


thanks godness that i have you.
thanks mr heng.

First day of work was fine. Saw many people. Met Simei on bus. She is going back to school for last paper. Sales before lunch was alright. Mummy was my first customer. Thats so sweet of her. Did sold some products. But, after lunch was totally slacking away. Saw Xue Lian in the store. Was chatting away. Cause, initially she wanted to buy that eye liner but I saw was not good so she changed back to the old one. What else can girls talk? Cosmestics of course. Then, a auntie came and look at my products. She say wanna ask her sister. She we went to find her sister. Silkpro promoter is talking to her sister. She ask me to hear also later then talk about my stuff. Her awhile is super "awhile" eh. In the end din buy. Slack awhile saw Sylvia. Chatting away again. Then, Guoqiang came with Hanwen. Crapping again. Lolz. Yicheng came. It was already eight. Time after lunch pass damn fast. Haha. I think I should change to sell cosmestics. There is two funny incident. First one. A auntie was seeing hair dye then I talk to her about my products. She seem interested eh. But, later she ask me about which blusher is beter. So, I recommended her one. She bought that blusher but not my hair dye! Another one. She was also looking at my hair dye. She said time for her to dye hair. Then, she look at me. She ask in chinese "ni yong shen mo fen?" So, the way she look at me and ask me I thought she wanna know what colour is my hair. I told her I dye in salon. Then, she say no. She wanted to know which brand and number of foundation I was using. And you know what? She bought the exactly same foundation that I am using and not my hair dye again! Lolz. She really look as if she wanna buy but then. Never mind. Thats sales. You will learn as you continue.

Note: Thanks mummy for buying beautylabo. Guoqiang for a hair dye. Yicheng for two boxes of hair dye. And of course, Mr heng! Sorry ruixing! You should know why. Haha.

Today is a bad day! Nothing went well for me. Boo. Firstly, my earings went missing, then my lip balm. Then, I realise I don't know how to tie shoe laces. As in the pattern I want it to be. Lastly, I couldn't find a nice bag to suit my dressing. Everything just make me feel so piss off. Argh. Thats is not the end. Reach Hoyu just on time. However, we waited for more than an hour before the thing started. Hmmm. Never mind. Time of the month. Stomach cramp. People that know me well enough should know my pattern. Lolz. The pain is killing me. Argh. Luckily, lunch time soon. No more energy. Grabbed Wanting and Ruixing throughtout our way for lunch. Feeling weak. It seem to be in a dream. Dont know what am I doing. Yesh. I am that weak. Sigh. You know what? I vommitted along the streets! Yucks. Its so disgusting. SO sucky okay. SUch as ugly act. I pity all those pathetic grass which I vommitted on. So sorry, but I really dont mean it. Drink a cup of hot choco felt slightly better. Went pharmacy to buy medicine as well. Luckily, it works. Ahha. Rest of the day is better. *smile* I was posted to Jurong point. Visit me people. Lolz. We were given a free of hair dye which we are suppose to use it. But, I tried to be funny. I dont wanna dye. Catch me and sack me. Lolz. I am crazy. Thanks girls for taking care of me today! hugs.


I wanna be love

Finally, signed up for that jap thing. Weets. I love jap. I dont know why too. Just simply loved it! Went school with Lijie to go to the library to sign up and pay. Our 157.50 bucks gone! Lolz. But, I think it is worth it. Smile. Training tommorrow. Start working on thursday. People, come and buy from me. Lolz. Hope they give me a nice outlet. Don't give me a lousy one. Then, I will faint. Haha. Hopes everything goes well for me. Oh ya. Hmmm. Suggested to bake a cake for Mr Pharm and do him a nice photo album. Those that are interested tell me. Searching for blog skin. Nothing suits my liking. Shall find it some other day. I have deleted my msn in friendster. Cause unknown people is distubing me. Pervert. Lolz. Gonna sleep soon. Good night everyone. Tag for me before my tag box die again. Sobz. Thanks ((:


The only way to love is not by finding the perfect person, but by loving the imperfect person perfectly <33

Finally, found a job. Selling hair dye. Hoyu company. Familiar? Thats the sponser for superband and coming superstar. Ahha. Their basic pay was alright but I think their commission is rather low? Have not got the full detail yet. Training on wednesday. Start working on thursday. It is only from thursday til sunday. A weekend job. Though I regret taking up this job now but I still have to carry on cause contract is signed. If I breach it now, I have to pay. Should have gone back to the old job. Better commission, as in the products can sell better . I think it is easier to sell skin care then hair dye? Hmmm. I don't know also. Afraid that I cannot sell well. Sigh. Somehow loose confident in myself. Don't know why too. Anyway, if you guys wanna buy hair dye. Come and buy from me. Lolz. Ate pizza hut yesterday. But, I miss it again! I wanna eat pizza hut again. Pasta, pizza, soup and drumlets! I want all! Yum yum. Today. Went chinatown with mummy to get her medicine. Walk around too. Nothing much. Tommorrow teenage icon final. Going down to support pris. Jia you eh. Lolz. Haha. I miss school. I miss friends. I miss 1T03. I miss everything.


I want to be a princess in someone's heart
Who will be the one

Job hunting. Went Raffles place for a job interview. We lost our way. Couldn't find that place. Suppose that the interview is at 120 pm and we reached early so decided to call that person to ask for directions to go there. The person still say that we are early. But, he called again and ask where we are and I told him we lost our way and we are at whatever place. It was only a 5 to 10 minutes walk from the MRT station but we took 30 to 40 minutes instead. Funny right. My poor legs. Had the interview was alright. Not scary at all! Lolz. They wanted to hire us but we did not want the job. Okay. Let me briefly tell you guys about the job. Selling mineral water in suits and blazer. Pay not that attractive. Tell me, do you think that you will be interested? Nah. I don't think so. Then a few hours later that guy named Andrew called me and ask me to go for training tommorrow I kept saying I don't want but he still keep saying give me face go and hear all these kind of rubbish. He hang the phone unwillingly. Thats not the end. He message me! Argh. Kept pestering me. He is a nice guy but just that the job is bad. Lolz. Headed to Tampanies, interview for the so call CPF job. Which turn out to be recruit express. Haha. Never mind. Since we are there then just ask them to get us a job. Ahha. Originally, I was from achieve consultant but now to recruit express. Who cares. As long as they find me a job. Thats it. Lolz. Wish me good luck for getting a new job soon. Haha. Anyway, Wanting is crazy! Girl stop laughing and disturbing me. It will be your turn soon! Right here waiting. Someone commented that he will open a party if the two of us ... ...! Lolz.


tell me what to do

Sunday
Nothing special. Went out with mummy to Junction eight to walk around. Do some shopping. I bought nothing much as compared to my mummy. I bought two sling bags. Those small small one. Girls favourite. Haha. I bought one small elmo for my brother too. His favourite cartoon. A sixteen years old boy likes elmo? Funny right. Lolz.

Monday
Didn't went to Sentosa with class. Wanted to do some shopping for friend's birthday present. Headed to Bugis with Lijie, Wanting and Ruixing. Walk around decided to buy a Freshbox tee cause din really know what to buy. Ate at Bugis cafe. Nice food. Continue shopping. Its shopping time. Weets. Ruixing want to buy jumper, so was browsing around for it. Nothing really suits her so din manage to buy anything in the end. Went OG. We got nothing better to do, so decided to pick a few pieces to try them out. We are crazy. Lolz. A skirt caught my eyes and a top too. We were trying around and taking pictures. Tried dress too. But it seem too loose for me though it is already small. Maybe my infront too small. Lolz. Decided to buy the top and skirt. Ruixing bought it too but is the brown version and I bought the white one. Lijie bought a cardigen too. Headed to Seiyu. You know what? We all have the same taste. Ahha. Remember I bought the two sling bags yesterday? I bought the white one today out and Ruixing likes it. Was finding it in the bags department and found it. Actually, is ask the promoter. Haha. Then, Lijie saw a sling bag. Show us. Oh my god. It was also the one i bought yesterday. Lolz. I conclude that we all have the same taste. Haha. So, Wanting and Ruixing bought the two exactly same bags and Lijie bought the black one too. Now, we all have the same bags. Next time can carry the same bag out. Ahha. Cool. Lolz. Oh ya. We took new prints too. Seriously, it have been quite some time since I last taken it. We decorate for so long. Girls are always like that. Hehe. Grins. I showed Mr Heng the picture. He asked who? Then, he said sure is you cause like bamboo. He says i need more fats. I shall gain weight! Though I think my size okay already. Hidden fats. Haha. Need to find a job soon. In desprate need of money. I am a spending too much. My 5.5 million is gone! The toto. Din win. Lolz. My dreams are gone. No more shopping spree, new handphone, tour, big feast and more. My family and I are daydreaming what to do if we won the 550 million. Lolz. Was queueing up to buy Toto this morning. Long queue. Boo. Then, mummy was asking how much you wanna buy. I said $1 quick pick. She scolded me, say queue so long then buy $1 only. Haha. Lalala. We are all crazy. Lolz.

Exams finally over. But, I think I have screwed up everything. Sigh. I don't want to fail. Sobz. Hmmm. Whatever, its all over. No use thinking about it. I doubt I will do well or even a pass is a miracle. Haha. Had a very enjoyable day yesterday. Was so fun. Weets. After exam went city hall with friends. 12 of us. Wanting, Ruixing, Lijie, Jiaxuan, Nicole, Zhou Xiong, Jason, Marvin, Yong Xiang, Guo Qiang, Guo Wei and of course me. Lolz. Wanted to eat dinner. Everywhere is full of people. So, decided to split up to two groups to eat. Guys one group and girls one group. We went to a Indian restuarant at MS to eat. Waited quite long before we could get to be seated. It is worth waiting cause the food is nice! Yummy. The curry fish head was so spicy but tasty of course. It was quite hot but it feel good eating it. Lolz. People who love spicy food, go and try it out. I recommend the fish head curry. Four stars. Haha. Price average. Cost us about seventy plus for six. Which include other side dishes as well. Meet up with the rest to see FIREWORKS. It was super nice. I swear. It was wow, wow and wow! I simply love it man. It was so sweet and touching. I wanna watch it with someone I love! It is gonna be very romantic. Weets. Love it! Went suntec after that. Had ben and jerry ice cream. Nice. Super full. Burp. Kept eating. Walk around and went home. I enjoyed my day! Weetsss. Holidays are here. I wanna play, eat, sleep, work and lots of things to do. Date me out! Haha.

Had whole day of CM. But, at least I have better understanding. Mr Choo is really a great tutor. Can teach well plus humourous. He is really very funny. Haha. He never fail to make us laugh. Enjoy having his classes. Mr Choo I love you. Lolz. Oops. Fotgotten to take my medicine today again. Haha. I think I am not the only one that is crazy today. Sebas is crazy too! A big fat liar. Lolz. He kept telling Jiaxin that I saw "Mary". Even though I told Jiaxin the truth that I din saw but he still insist that I saw. Haha. Recieved a call and a sms today from Loreal. One from vichy and one from LRP asking me whether I want to work. The vichy one definately is out cause is tommorrow til thursday. Whereas LRP one is 14 til 25 august. Considering should I go back or find a new job. Hmmm. Never mind. Lalala. Fireworks this friday. Anybody interested? Any takers? Holidays are coming. Counting down. Weets. Date me out people! Hehe. Good luck to all having FSP demo tommorrow ((:

Milo peng won! Didn't know they are so good after watching yesterday finals. I have been missing all the good shows in the past. Hmmm. Never mind, at least I saw their great performance yesterday. Ahha. Yong qi. Was alright, not too bad though I still prefer FISH version. Grins. Nic and Sam was very cute. Hehe. Enjoyed their performances pretty much. However, J3 xiao wei did impress me. Well done! Don't really like soul. Didn't vote this time round. Used to vote for Sly. Kelly and Zhiyang when they were in the finals. But, this time round din, save money. Lolz. Anyway, saw the prima deli advertisement on the durian pancake. I wanted to try so mummy bought it. Weets. I love you mummy. It taste heavenly. Just trying to be funny. Haha. But, seriously it is nice. Do try out. Worth trying. Selling at $4.50 for four. I am their spokesman. Lolz. I think I am crazy recently. Or rather always? Haha. I am getting more and more blur. I handed up FSP today but don't know why it doesn't appear. And I cant hand in again. Argh. Luckily, they say can send to email so i tried sending. Hope everything will be fine.

Weekends equal slacking time? Nah. I shall not waste my weekends anymore cause exams are coming real soon. Got to do some revision and catching up. I believe that there are lots of things for me to catch up. Study, study and study. Just for this week. And it will be HOLIDAYS. 9 weeks of holidays. Then, it is time to relax and enjoy. Weets. Superband finals today. Gonna watch it. Cause milo peng is going to sing FISH song, yong qi. My favourite singer cum song. Weets. Hope that they will impress me. Anyway, read on the net that FISH album will be out around september. Her album is always out at this timing. So, right here waiting. Been waiting for about a year, her new album is gonna release soon. Excited. Lalala. Handling up FSP assignment later on. Finally, ended. Left demo on tuesday. Wish me good luck. Lolz. Got to thank guo qiang helping out with the coding and yi cheng for the comments. Thanks guys. A good piece news for me! I think I have straighten out my thoughts after thinking so much. For the past few days, my mood isn't that great. Practically, I have been thinking alot. I got this bad habit of mine, which is cry like nobody business when I feel down. I conclude that I have got very developed tear glands. Haha. Everything will be fine soon. Very soon. The rainbow after the rain. Smile with me ((:


Saw your msn nick,
I drew a conclusion.
You got your own life,
so do i.
Our story have ended long ago.
Or should I say we have never started.
For the first time,
I took out my phone,
stared at all your messages for a few seconds.
I deleted all of it.
No regrets.
I know it is really time for me to pack up my feelings.
Dragging on only makes me hurt myself,
and people around me.
I don't hate you for hurting me once again.
The same way you choose to leave me.
I take it as a part of growing up.
I will leave you in part of my memory.
I shall move on from now onwards.
kiss goodbye.

Programming is driving everyone crazy. Lolz. Exams are coming real soon. Had pizza with Jiaxin, Haoyih and Junjie yesterday. Damn full. Burp. Haha. Lalala. Don't know what else to say. Hmmm. My posts are getting more and more boring. Anyway, had a nightmare yesterday. Was really errie. My hairs are standing. Eeeek. Stressss. Argh. It seem that I got lots to catch up. Sigh.


yougottoletgobeforeyoumoveon.
ithoughtihavebutididnot.

sorryidontmeantohurtyou.
thisisnotwhatiwantedtoo.
iamthefirstgirlyouevertearedfor.
iamtouched
butthereisnothingicoulddo.
forgiveme.

Today is not my day. Firstly, I woke up late. I woke up at 625 when I am suppose to wakeup at six. Went for Tennis class. I was stunned by a ball. The ball hit me hard on my nose. Ouch. If it has landed somewhere else, I think it will not be as painful. Cause, nose is all bones. I was laughing and tearing at the same time. I am crazy. Went for breakfast or lunch? Rather brunch instead. Sylvia and me went to buy drinks. You know what happened? I spilled the whole big cup of green apple juice. What the hack am I doing. Something must be wrong with my hands. Lolz. Sylvia and I had our first attemp trying out the avacodo juice. It taste like. Hmmm. Some sort of weirdo drink I would say. Wasted the drink and got ourselves some better ones. Chatting. RED CROSS. Was our topic for the day. Our cca when we were in secondary school. Only recently I found out that Sylvia was a red cross cadet. Elsemore, we knew each other way before school starts. Ahha. We went to the same NCO camp two years back. Her good friend, Serene was in the same group as me. I couldn't remember her name til she said Serene and show me her picture. We still remember that stupid night walk we had during that camp. We have to walk from kambangan to east coast park then to doby ghaught.(don't know how to spell. hehe). So, practically, we have been walking the whole night and could not sleep. we were given map and compass. We have to make our way there ourselves. Red cross campsite is eerie. Eeee. Haha. Headed to library to do FSP. Finding seats. The library seem to be so full. Everyone is hardworking nowadays. Found a empty room decided to go in though we did not book that. There is this group of guys walking past and looking at us in a strange manner. Initially, we thought that it was them that have book the room. But, Junjie went to ask them if they have book, they say nope. Happily, we were enjoying using the room. Later on, the owners of the room came so we went to search for other place. Finally, finishing doing FSP. I felt like a dummy. Home sweet home.

focus, foCUS, FOCUS !
Jueying please be focus !